just Karen

never good enough.

Tue, 18 Jul 2006 05:39:57 GMT

Today was a crappy day at the office. My boss, Gretchen, let this silly new-girl, Jamie, run her article in the August issue instead of mine. We have been working at VeRB almost the same amount of time and it drives me crazy to see her always get the upper hand in office politics. I am just as talented as she is and just as qualified as well. Gretchen never seems to notice anything I do around the office and it is slowly starting to get to me. Why is nothing I ever do enough? Yet again, I have to sit idly by and try to please Gretchen until I am blue in the face to receive nothing in return. When will I be respected as much as I deserve?

smitten

Thu, 13 Jul 2006 05:47:31 GMT

Ken from finance messaged me this evening. Just seeing him and him wanting to talk to me made me feel so special. I feel like we could talk for hours on end. I think I need to ask him to go for coffee one of these days. I know this cute little place just off 5th Avenue I can take him to. One day I will...

Mon, 29 May 2006 17:16:19 GMT

I tried to give a presentation the other day when I was seriously emotionally distraught. It wasn't pretty. I learned my lesson: if you are highly emotionally stressed, don't give a presentation in front of your entire department. I was really embarrassed. I'm glad Eric was able to talk me down from the roof. He is such an amazing individual and I'm really going to miss him.

Tue, 02 May 2006 00:39:34 GMT

how can i be lost if no one is trying to find me?

it hurts...

Fri, 20 Jan 2006 05:09:37 GMT

i just cant admit to him, or myself, that i am not real.

guilt with a side of praise

Fri, 06 Jan 2006 08:30:09 GMT

today i had a talk with two of my bosses whom i respect very much. We were discussing how i live my life and if i was making myself happy. what is happy? i think i am happy, we all think we are happy, but aren't we all sick of the "i am happy" game?

one of my bosses asked me if i ever feel guilty about all the myspace emails i get from guys, and i begining to think she is right. I am falling for this one guy who is sending me real emails about his life and how similar we are. he is always praising me and makes me feel good about who i am. yet, the fact remains that he wants to meet me. I feel terrible knowing that i could never talk with him in person because i feel that a face to face connection would ruin what we have. I want an inbox lover, i don't want to lose him.

Thu, 05 Jan 2006 05:05:44 GMT

i now have atleast six myspace suitors! it is unbelievable! in the past two weeks all the attractive 20 somethings have been pouring out of the woodwork wanting to talk to me of all people.

i've gotten a phone number and a guy who wants to take me out for drinks!

unbelievable.

teh.

Fri, 23 Dec 2005 02:12:42 GMT

i'm in love with this guy that found me on myspace. is that bad?

he's kinda cute which doesn't hurt...

Fri, 16 Dec 2005 01:47:12 GMT

how dare her call me vain?! its not her place.

Sat, 10 Dec 2005 16:13:37 GMT

oh, how i do love a dinner date with audrey! its just fun to get all dressed up with nowhere to go.

audrey baby, i love you!

what have i done to deserve this?

Sun, 04 Dec 2005 16:58:36 GMT

well let me just say, i have some of the best friends ever. who else would help me clean all the snow off of my car just because i am wearing heels and a skirt and she doesnt want me to catch pneumonia? and on top of THAT, sit through a concert for the three minutes that i was involved in? AND take me out to eat at one of my FaVoRiTe restaurants and then spend the rest of the day at my favorite shops? i dont deserve people being nice to me. i havent done anything that deserves this attention.

Fri, 02 Dec 2005 22:24:45 GMT

there is something really sexy about driving another male co-worker home as the lust of your life looks on longingly

wasting hours is my favorite!

Mon, 28 Nov 2005 07:54:50 GMT

200. My name is: Karen
199. I was born on: April 17
198. I am: the shit
196. My eye color is: green
195. My shoe size is: 7
194. My ring size is: 7
192. My height is: 5'9"
191. I am allergic to: nothing
190. I live in: NYC
189. The last three books I read: Emma, The Bell Jar, Girl, Interrupted
188. My bed is: my haven
187. One thing I know for sure about the opposite sex: they never can take a hint
186. I am glad I'm my sex because: I have boobs and I love shoes
184. My best friend(s) are: audrey
181. Three things I can never resist are: shoes, prada’s latest, cocktail hour
179. My favorite pajamas are: my YSL slip dress
178. A perfect kiss is: something that takes you away from your current situation
177. The last three CDs i bought: don’t recall, I haven’t listened to anything new recently
176. Last song that made me cry was: songs don’t make me cry, it’s the memories attached to them that do
173. I could not live without: my plastic
172. My most treasured possession is: a ring my mother gave me
170. What did you do last night? Finished my article with a latte by my side
169. The funniest quote I know is: Its hard to pick just one…
168. The quote that sums it all up for me is: “you think you know, but you have no idea.”
167. My skin's reaction to the sun is (tan/burn): burn, I love being pale

-believe in-
143. santa: no
142. Love at first sight? Love, no, more like lust
141. Luck?: yes
140. Fate?: yes
139. God?: depends on my mood
138. Aliens?: to a certain extent
137. Heaven? A severe bastardization of heaven, yes
136. Hell?: hell is other people
135. Ghosts?: yes
134. Horoscopes?: pure comedic value
135. soul mates? Everyone has multiple people they are compatible with, not necessarily just one soul mate

-Which is Better?: -
129. Hugs or Kisses: kisses
128. Drunk or High: drunk
127. Phone or Online: online
126. girls with/without Hats: with
125. Blondes or Brunettes: redheads
122. Boys with/without Facial Hair: depends
120. Night or Day: night
119. Oranges or Apples: oranges
118. Curly or Straight hair: straight

-Here's What I Think About. . . -
116. Abortion: its your choice, do what you want
115. Backstabbers: I am one
110. School?: thank god that’s over

-Last time I. . . -
104. Took a Shower: this morning
103. Kissed someone: last friday
102. hugged someone: last friday
101. Seen someone I haven't seen in a while: today, I saw Audrey briefly
100. Drove: tonight home from meeting with audrey
99. Grew: um… high school?
98. I always ask: who am i?
90. The ditziest person I know: Jessica
89. The one person who makes me laugh the most is: eric
88. Which celebrity or famous person are you in love with? Brad Pitt, basic necessity
87. One thing I'm pissed about right now is: work
83. The last movie I saw in the theater was: Harry Potter 4
82. The thing I don't understand is: why I am never content
80. The most unsatisfactory answer I've ever received: because we need people in New York
79. The one thing I love about the opposite sex is: knowing I am secure and loved
78. This week I am: loving myself
76. This summer vacation I: what vacation?
75. Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my shoes
74. The thing that I'm looking forward to the most about is: pay day
73. Tomorrow: I will express myself better
72. Today: i had dinner with audrey
71. Next Summer: I will hopefully be back in chicago
70. Next Week: I get to see eric again
67. People call me: ms. bradford
66. The person who I talk to the most on the phone is: audrey
65. The person I had the longest on-going relationship: don’t recall
64. The person I have been friends with the longest is: audrey
62. The person who knows the most about me is: mike
61. The person who can read me the best is: mike
60. The most difficult thing to do is?: run in stilletos
59. I have/have not gotten a speeding ticket: have, no surprise here
58. I have the following siblings: none
57. My favorite people are: eric, audrey
53. The one person who can't hide things from me: lauren
51. Right now I am talking to: no one
47. I have these pets: none
46. I wish I was: in love
45. The worst sound in the world: the alarm for a three am flight
44. The person that makes me cry the most is: no idea

WHERE IS 43-42

41. I almost died when: never, to my knowlege
39. My boy/girlfriend is: not applicable
34. My favorite state? New York
33. My favorite piece of clothing is: bra
32. My favorite sport to play/do is: not applicable
29. What am i wearing right now is: stilettos a matching underwear set and a smile
27. The last person I got pissed off at was: myself
26. The worst drinking experience I've had was: about a month ago I tried to drink myself happy, it was down right ugly/
24. The last movie I watched was: harry potter 4
23. The all time best movie: amelie
22. Um? so much for the 200 ...
21. The all-time best thing in the world is: shoes
20. Um again? ur kidding me right?
19. The most annoying thing ever is: people who talk too much about themselves
17. I lose all respect for people who: try to scam me
16. The movies I have cried at are: typical sappy pieces of crap
11. The worst pain I was ever in was: cant think of one particular moment
9. My room is full of: lovely pieces of art
8. My favorite celebrity is: Angelina Jolie
7. Where you at? At my desk
6. My downfall is?: shoes
5. My weakness is?: shoes
4. What turns me on is? Anything that breathes
3. I want this to end because?: i want to go to bed
2. I filled out 200 questions because?: it beats going to work

- and there is no number 1 because its ALMOST 200 ?s haha get it? ok moving on....

emerald green and high heels

Mon, 21 Nov 2005 02:37:37 GMT

last friday was wonderful, i really came out of my shell...

i want to do everything i can to be there for her, but i dont think everything i am able to do will be enough. i dont want to disappoint her. she is my everything.

Fri, 18 Nov 2005 22:57:19 GMT

tonight is a full frontal prowling night. i am going to get some action if it kills me.

i know eric is going to be there, and i know i am going to look damn sexy.

no regrets.

anything but disapointed

Thu, 10 Nov 2005 04:32:56 GMT

just a quick post to say i love my job. it was hard to move away from chicago at first, but i think i am finally finding myself. today i had this huge presentation in front of this man that i am always trying to impress. for whatever reason, he dominates my life and i just cant seem to get him out of the picture. so as i was up there doing what i do best, he suddenly faded from view. it wasn't: karen, you need to impress him, but it was more like: karen, you need to do this for yourself. and surprisingly, i did. with both this presentation and the article on music i had to perfect last week, i have learned that i am capable of doing things because i want to, not because someone is telling me i should be.

Fri, 28 Oct 2005 04:13:53 GMT

uglysinglesclub: you've never met karen
him: yes i have
uglysinglesclub: when?
him: last night
him: she was good

Thu, 22 Sep 2005 04:21:31 GMT

***10 Favorites...***

Favorite Color: a lighter magenta
Favorite Food: a good chopped salad
Favorite Band/Singer: alanis morrisette
Favorite Song: Meant for Me
Favorite Movie: Amelie
Favorite Sport: not me
Favorite Season: Spring
Favorite Day Of the Week: Friday
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: mint chocolate chip
Favorite Time of Day: 11pm

***9 Currents...***

Current Mood: lonely, yet accomplished
Current Taste: pasta
Current Clothes: bra, pencil skirt, heels
Current Time: 11:11 ha
Current Surroundings: my bedroom
Current Annoyance(s): paperwork
Current Thought: I would give anything to be hitting 5th avenue tomorrow, not the office

***8 Firsts...***

First Best Friend: Lisa Adams
First Kiss: Josh Harper
First Screen Name: just_karen
First Pet: I don’t have time for pets
First Piercing: My ears
First Crush: don’t remember
First Music You Remember Hearing: my mom singing most likely
First Car: BMW, naturally

***7 Lasts...***

Last Cigarette: Saturday night
Last Drink: Saturday night, cosmo!
Last Car Ride: today, home from work
Last Kiss: kissed Audrey goodbye two weeks ago, does that count?
Last Movie Seen: 40 Year Old Virgin
Last Phone Call: audrey
Last CD Played: alanis’s new album

***6 Have You Evers....***
Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Friends: nope, stayed clear of that hell
Have You Ever Broken the Law: everyday
Have You Ever Been Arrested: No
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: nope
Have You Ever Been on TV: no
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: yeah, they are called bars people

***5 Things....***

5 Things You're Wearing: underwear, a bra, a skirt, pearls and my heels
5 Things You've Done Today: walked home, bought cute shoes, flicked of my coworker, told someone my real age, got over my current obsession
5 Things You Can Hear Right Now: computer hum, traffic, the wind, the keyboard, me breathing
5 Things You Can't Live Without: shoes, money, cell phones, men, audrey
5 Things You Do When You're Bored: television, shop, go online, write, do lunch with a co worker

***4 Places You've Been In the last 24 Hours: work, my car, the bank, around my block

***3 People You Can Tell Anything To: Audrey, pat, mr. journalism (eric)

***2 Choices...***

1. Black or White: black
2. Hot or Cold: cold

***1 Thing You Want to Do Before you die: love someone else as much as I love myself and have it reciprocated.

love...honest love

Mon, 19 Sep 2005 03:31:39 GMT

i just recieved a HUGE bonus from my boss simply because she loves me.

what do i say to her?

better yet, what do i do with it?

Tue, 13 Sep 2005 02:33:43 GMT

i am losing myself. i dont know who i am anymore and it scares me.

i need to FIND myself.

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 18:43:22 GMT

well, living in NYC is tough, but i just heard some good news.

mr. journalism has been transfered to my office for a year.

talk about good luck.

Mon, 08 Aug 2005 22:05:00 GMT

due to lack of comments, i assume no one reads this. regardless, here is my myspace if you are interested.

Find me on MySpace and be my lover!

with love,
karen

i hate men.

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 21:14:20 GMT

i swear to god, it is arrogant prick day around my office. today i had one of the biannual meetings with the big bosses in my department. i rarely have to work with these guys, but when i do, jesus h. christ! the one guy thinks that by a wave of his hand i will do his bidding. i am not respected in the least. THEN, there is the other fuck who couldn't run upermangament if his life depended on it. he constantly is begging me to join their ranks. the sick fuck won't leave me alone. so sitting in a meeting with these two makes me want to blow my brains out.

playful banter

Tue, 02 Aug 2005 19:45:02 GMT

So yesterday, the new chick at the office, Jennifer, stopped by my office to ask a question about the memo uppermanagment sent out. I gave her the information she required and she struck up a conversation with me. what first started as office small talk evolved into a really unique conversation. I can't pinpoint what it is about her, but I was transfixed. I think it was her eyes, intense pools of indigo with that gleam of ambition just laying beyond the surface. and since the date with whats-his-name-the-hippy fell through, I found myself considering the extreme alternative. Who knows? If anything, a new lunch mate at the office wouldn't be half bad...

x-posted

life annoyances

Thu, 21 Jul 2005 23:08:18 GMT

i went out on a limb last week and asked a guy out for coffee. typically, the guys flock to me, but recently things aren't the same. i don't think anyone understands how alone i am.

well i met him at the local cafe and this guy brought one of his friends along. what the fuck, i did not schedule a threesome this evening. so his lame excuse is that his cousin was in town for a weekend and that he couldn't bare to leave him home alone. whatever. so i grinned rolled with it. jesus, it was the date from hell. this cousin, or whatever, only has one function: bitch about everything that moves. and the guy i was supposed to hook up with wasn't making the evening any more tolerable.

needless to say, i got out of there as soon as i can. then, the guy calls the next day like nothing happened and he wants to go out again. why do i keep on playing the game? i'm so over it.